Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
