Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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