it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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