i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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