Banned from zoo.
Again?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
