i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
