so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
