She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
