The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
