Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
