I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
