She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
