you have to choose: penises or morals?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
