just tell him i said nine months
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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