Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
