i always forget guys have bellybuttons
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
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