My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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