He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The air was thick with penises
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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