We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
