Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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