How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
