Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
