i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
