I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
