Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
