And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize