she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
