some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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