Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He's on the porch naked. Help.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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