i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
