So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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