I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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