Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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