hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize