Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize