They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize