I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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