the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
