OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
