i already hear my dad disowning me
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we're making bets on your personal life
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
