Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
