I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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