chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
