I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
