hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Blood and glitter go together right?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
