What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
