4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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