I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
