Don't you send me to vm
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
there is puke in my bra ... again
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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