Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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