I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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