I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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