things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
