I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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