somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm both gender and math confused
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
