You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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