thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize