Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.