end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So how was he last night?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
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Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
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In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.