and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.