i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.