Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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