I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
