I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm both gender and math confused
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
