.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
