We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
