It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
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I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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