just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
