Christians are straight up FREAKS
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
